Due to the continued civil unrest and heartbreaking events of the last year, reports confirmed this week that Santa Claus has declared a state of naughty-or-nice emergency. “For the love of Lifetime Christmas movies,” Claus stated. “The amount of people in immediate need of a reality check is beyond cray.” In order to accommodate the unprecedented amount of naughty citizens, North Pole officials announced the creation of a new, third list.

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Winter is coming … to Tinder. If last year was any indication, we’re all in it for the long haul—which means the race is on to find someone passable to hibernate with until the ice thaws. Who has time to go out to bars and shop around for the perfect partner to share our coldest months with? No one. So just admit joining Tinder is as inevitable as another Polar Vortex blanketing Chicago.

But be warned … Tinder is similar to Marshalls. One must to be willing to hunt for one’s food. However if you know how to beat the odds, you can win Tinder this winter. Here are seven key things you need to remember.

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