Why Playing Small Is Over

RACHEL LAFORCE
Aug 21
3 min read

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to stop performing humility like it’s a Broadway show, hi, it’s me. Curtain’s closed. Standing ovation for the version of you that’s done pretending you’re “not that good.”

Here’s the inconvenient truth: I realized recently that I’ve been proving myself, not less, just differently. Better credits, shinier titles, fancier filters. But at the core? Still hustling for approval I didn’t need. The gag is: maybe I was already fantastic. Maybe you are too. And maybe it’s wildly disrespectful to our gifts to act like we’re not.

This week on Healing is Hilarious, I served up a roadside pep talk: part sermon, part comedy set, part nervous system re-training - for anyone who’s exhausted from editing themselves. Because this new season isn’t about shrinking, people-pleasing, or proving. It’s about shining. We share. We teach. We shine unapologetically.

The 3 Tools to Change the Game

The 7-Second Pause

Before you fire off that email, say yes to that favor you don’t want to do, or agree to a meeting that steals your soul - pause. Literally seven seconds. Long enough to breathe, check in, and let your body catch up with your brain. That tiny delay shifts you from autopilot to alignment.

The 2-Minute Embodiment Practice

Two minutes a day. That’s it. Close your eyes and call in the energy you’re working to embody. Radiate it. Practice being it. Because if we can scroll for two hours without blinking, we can handle 120 seconds of actually becoming who we want to be. (Spoiler: it feels harder than it sounds, which means it’s working.)

Shooters Shoot

Scared to pitch yourself? Ask for more money? Send that text? Book the date? Good. The bigger the nerves, the more it’s your sign to lean in. This is exposure therapy in real time. It’s teaching your nervous system that fear isn’t a stop sign - it’s a compass pointing you toward expansion.

Big Takeaways

Being excellent isn’t bragging. It’s alignment.
Your nervous system has to practice holding bigger energy.
Fear is information: the scarier the ask, the bigger the growth.

Reflection Questions:

When you sit with “Where am I still proving myself instead of embodying myself?” try breaking it into two parts:

What does “proving” look like for you right now?

Get specific. Is it working overtime so no one thinks you’re lazy? Over-explaining so people don’t misunderstand you? Saying yes when your body is screaming no just so you seem “easy to work with”? Write down the small (or big) ways you still reach for external validation or try to earn your worth.

What would “embodying” look like instead?

If you already trusted your value, how would you move? Speak? Create? React? Who would you be if you weren’t trying to convince anyone of anything — but simply moved from your own knowing? Describe her. Let her speak. What decisions would she make today?