REQUIRED READING (IF YOU’RE READY TO HEAL THROUGH PLAY RATHER THAN CONTROL THROUGH SELF- SABOTAGE!)

I really hate to be braggadocious right off the bat, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you how good I have been at getting in my own way and how sincere I am about not going back. I am READY to allow things to be easy for me. Like, really easy. That doesn’t mean life will be without struggle or pain - but it means that I will allow ease in everything that I do have control over. If you’re reading this and thinking. . . “Go on. . . I’m listening. . . “ grab a pen, I have some prompts, thoughts, and quotes:

1. Notice Where You’re Complicating Things

Sit down and look at all the ways you’re making life, work, relationships - insert your specific here - harder than you need to be. Where are you micromanaging? Where are you overthinking? Get honest with yourself.

2. Identify What You Wish Was Easier

This is your chance to reverse engineer: ask yourself, “What do I wish was easier in my life?” Is it money? Dating? Communicating? Once you know, write it down. Let’s stop being surprised by our patterns.

3. Experiment With Ease

Try flipping the switch from “hard mode” to “let’s just see what happens if I let this be easy.” Or as I like to say “F*ck around and find out mode” LOLZ.  Don’t overthink every email, every opportunity, every move. Make a quick decision. If it works, amazing. If not, guess what? You can always make a new choice. You are not stuck, you’re just unwilling to FAAFO!

4. Stay Playful and Present

Seriously, treat life like a big, weird, beautiful video game. What happens if you approach situations with curiosity or even a little bit of flirtation? The more you can play and stay present - the more you’ll attract magic in. Magnetism, baby! 

Okay, so now that you have asked yourself some tough questions, the Universe is going to start presenting you with opportunities to make new choices. You are going to begin to recognize, “Hmmm. I could like - just allow this to be easier right now. . .” Soooo, if we can allow things to be easy, why have we made them so hard?

Many people reach a point where they’ve outgrown old patterns and are truly ready to move on. But even positive change has a way of stirring up resistance. The old, familiar voices inside us often don’t want to let go - and to their credit - they are capable of coming up with increasingly sophisticated methods of holding us back. Even (and I am DEFINITELY NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE) when we finally manage to juggle family, work, friendships, creative pursuits, and more, we may most likely find ourselves thinking: “Why am I not having any fun? Why does this feel so hard?” Upon reflection, the culprit is most often micromanagement. The absolute white knuckle need to control every detail, hoping nothing will go wrong. But in truth, this never delivers the ease we crave because micromanagement isn’t about creating ease; it’s about self-sabotage. 

Logically, we know rest is important. We know that pushing ourselves to the brink leads to irritability, fogginess, and burnout. Yet, especially among high-achievers (Oh hi, hello!) there’s a deeply ingrained belief that hard work and suffering equal worthiness and success.

Mainstream narratives love to romanticize the idea that the most successful people are driven by trauma or a need to prove themselves. But the truth is, everyone struggles.

A common self-sabotaging behavior is overcomplication.

You may say you want a healthy partnership, but if you’re out there accepting every date offered to you without discernment, ahhh yeah dawg, dating probably feels exhausting. Or - if you’re like me - you might turn a simple chore into an overwhelming task through chronic overthinking. 

This is especially prevalent among the creative or those who are neurodiverse. The gift of creativity sometimes comes with a challenge: it’s hard to stick to one plan or decision. Yet, a valuable lesson emerges - make a decision, and if it doesn’t work, simply make another one. There’s no need to delay action out of fear. You’re already worth it, whether your idea works on the first try or not. Spoiler: rarely does anything work on the first try, so be prepared to try nine times. 

Choosing to Switch to ‘Easy Mode’

Life can be a lot like a video game, complete with customizable characters, outfits, and difficulty settings. So if we can choose - and we can btw -  why do so many of us default to “hard mode”? What if the same - if not better results - could come from just letting things be simple?

For those dealing with trauma or neurodiversity, life can be inherently challenging. There’s no need to stack the deck even further. I’M DEFINITELY NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE HERE. What if the real superpower was mastering the art of ease?

Let’s clarify: choosing ease does not mean avoiding effort, ignoring growth, or escaping responsibility. It’s about trust. Truly being rooted in our worth and knowing we are worthy of the opportunities presented, even without perfection. It’s about seeing every step as an opportunity for growth and fun, not a test to be survived.

Play, Flirt, and Trust the Process

When life is approached with play, it becomes magnetic. Others notice when someone is genuinely having fun (and secretly wonder what their secret is). It’s not about being the best or the brightest; it’s about letting things flow and being present.

The real challenge and joy is this: for the next few weeks, simply notice where you’re making life harder. There’s no pressure to immediately overhaul everything. Just bring curiosity to the areas that feel heavy or labored. How might ease show up instead?

Try This at Home:

1. Reflect: Which parts of life consistently feel difficult? What would you like to feel easier?

2. Reverse engineer: Explore the beliefs behind those difficulties. Are there unnecessary steps or assumptions at play?

3. Experiment with ease: For a few weeks, catch yourself in patterns of overcomplication, and see if you can just… let it ride.

My prayer for you? For me? Let life be fun. Let it be easy. Trust in the process and in your own capacity to thrive.

If you’re seeking deeper reflection, sign up for the Healing is Hilarious newsletter for more prompts and behind-the-scenes stories!

In the meantime: drink some water, unclench that jaw, roll those shoulders back, and remember—ease is an option.

LISTEN + WATCH THIS EPISODE

Listen to this episode “Say Goodbye to Who You Used to Be: Part 1 of The Reinvention Series,” on all platforms. 

The real magic happens when you stop making life harder than it needs to be. Tune out, tune in. Love you, mean it.