There Is No F*cking Thing: Why Self-Support Is the Real Prize

RACHEL LAFORCE
Aug 28
2 min read

Let’s talk about the thing. You know — that marriage, body, title, tour, bank account, house, or inner-peace-on-demand situation that’s supposed to finally make us feel whole. We spend years climbing toward it like it’s the summit of Everest, ignoring the wildflowers, snacks, and occasional ankle injury along the way. And then? Spoiler alert: there’s no f*cking thing at the top.

That’s the cosmic joke. The thing doesn’t exist. Life is happening right now, in your cluttered kitchen, in your anxious body, in your scrolling habit, in the space between what you’ve healed and what you’re still terrified to face.

So if there’s no thing, what do we do? We support ourselves. We learn to stop brutalizing ourselves into worthiness and instead wake up to the fact that the “grown-up” we’re waiting for is actually us.

Here are three takeaways:

Grace Is Non-Negotiable. You can’t shame yourself into your next season. You’ll only wake up angry that your nervous system is fried. Try starting your day with curiosity (“I wonder what will happen”) instead of dread.
Make a Real Support List. Not the Pinterest version. The honest one. Do you need childcare help, debt relief, or someone to actually listen to you? Write it down. Support starts with specificity.
Take Yourself Seriously. The version of you who’s worthy of “the thing” already exists. But if you keep saying yes when you mean no, diluting your energy, and ignoring your own needs, you’ll be having this same exact conversation next year.